You wake up because you hear a knocking on the window. You think it’s some kind of animal, but it’s much worse.

You wake up because you hear a knocking on the window. You think it’s some kind of animal, but it’s much worse. Then the window bursts in. You can’t believe what you see. A guy is shouting at you, begging for your help. You can’t think of anything to say and then you see a car crash into the field and the man disappears in the flames. The entire world around you is disappearing.

That’s exactly how I feel right now. I can’t even begin to describe how I feel. I can only say that I feel lost and helpless.

First, I don’t think I can believe this all happened. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. How does something like this happen? I also don’t understand why it happened in my own backyard. It would have been better if it happened in the suburbs.

And second, I don’t feel capable of doing anything. I feel completely useless. I feel as though I’m letting myself and everyone I care about down.

The guy who I took my GREs with passed away over the weekend.

I hadn’t spoken to him in a long time, but he still had my cell phone number, so I called him to congratulate him on his success.

Apparently, he had a heart attack. I think of all of the people I’ve known who have passed away, how close I was to those people and how I thought that I was helping them on their way to wherever it is they were going.

But I realize now that I was. But, I know now that I can’t help anyone anymore.

I can’t do anything.

Even if I could, there’s nothing I could do.

I’m helpless.

He passed away alone.

There were no family members or friends to be with him as he passed.

It wasn’t me who died.

It’s still a shock to me.

It’s just not fair.

I think that my God is a mean god. I think that I made a deal with him a long time ago. I’m the one who got away.

I didn’t care enough to look for my destiny.

I guess I just didn’t think I was important enough.

Now I realize that I should have never made such an ignorant bargain with Him. I hope this all comes to a speedy end.

I think that I was born for a higher purpose. I wish that I had a better understanding of my purpose, but I don’t. I’m scared.

Just look at the comparison between my website and this.

It doesn’t even compare.