You’re at an uncle’s birthday party you don’t like and accidentally break something. Try to cover it up.

You’re at an uncle’s birthday party you don’t like and accidentally break something. Try to cover it up. He’s really hot and now he’s pissed off. Also, it might not be too uncommon to damage something in the course of being social with people.

Tell him it’s the space between his two cupcakes. It’s like a campfire story or whatever. And he’ll probably figure out you were just kidding and give you the red gift bag.

For all of you who have ever thought the phrase “bucket list” was something people write on their Facebook profile: No such luck. It’s a stupid phrase.

Your boyfriend sends you an e-mail:

I haven’t called in a week. Any advice on this ? I’m drinking a little but not bad. Will you please call me.?

Chances are you’re not drinking a lot, you just want to be left alone with your secrets.

So here’s an e-mail that you can actually use.

First off, it makes it sound like you care. It makes it sound like you are trying to help him. It makes it sound like you don’t just want to talk to him to get revenge for him not calling. But more importantly, it gives him an opening to talk to you about something he wants to talk about. If your boyfriend is a college senior, he might be busy with all that homework they have to do to graduate. If your boyfriend is in college and really interested in getting laid, he might not have time for anything like this.

Here are your e-mail:

I see you haven’t called in a week. Any advice on this ? I’m drinking a little but not bad. Will you please call me.?

And he might give you a brief reply like this:

I’m drinking a little, but I’m okay. Sorry about that. See you soon.

Now you could give him the slightest shit about this, but chances are he is telling you the truth. He just has too much homework and you just don’ve been his only contact for the last week.

Remember the rules.

Follow these guidelines and you will be fine. In fact, if you have enough confidence and you care about other people, the stuff you write will probably win them over. Don’t underestimate the power of a friendly, if slightly flirty, message.